”How about we go to that theme park you love so much, just the two of us.” The little girl feels a lot of excitement, whilst at the same time she wishes she could’ve gone with her mom instead. However you won’t tell him that, for one because you don’t want to hurt his feelings but also because you do really want to go. 

With everyday that we get closer to the day we’ll leave you get more and more excited. You are also quite nervous. 

The day has come, mom has packed your snacks in your backpack you’ve got your coat on already. You are ready to leave, now the waiting game begins. He will pick you up any moment now, the longer it takes the more nervous you get. 

He doesn’t show up, it hurts but is it that big of a surprise? Maybe that is why it hurts, because you could’ve known. You should’ve known.

This little girl waited for years for him to show up, but as soon as he promised she knew it wouldn’t happen. Because he have never kept a promise. 

”Give daddy one more chance” he would always say. And you always said ”I already did, so many times.” from the age of five, that little girl had to be the adult. 

At one point he didn’t show up anymore, no birthday cards no nothing. Although she felt hurt, disappointed, abandoned she also felt relieve. A weight lifted off her shoulders. Is that bad?

At first this little girl was filled with sadness. That later turned into anger, so much anger. After that came acceptance and even gratitude. 

Friendships, or any relationships were always a bit of a struggle, trust issues they say. Doesn’t surprise me, if you can’t trust your parent who can you trust? However she’s doing a lot better don’t worry. Because that little girl turned into a strong young woman. 

This isn’t to bash him. No, not at all. She wants to thank him actually. Because if it wasn’t for all the troubles he caused, the obstacles he brought this little girl wouldn’t be the person that she is today. And even though she’s not perfect in any way, she is flawed a bit weird even, I like her. 

She laughs, she cries, she loves, she dreams, she loses her temper, she’s strong, she’s wise (not all the time but there is no fun in being wise all the time), she never gave up on herself even though he did. 

I feel sorry for him, because he never got to learn from her, see her grow.

All that’s left to say is ; Thank you, for all the heartache, I wouldn’t have been the person that I am today without you. 

-Not your daughter, 

2 thoughts on “Daddy Issues”

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