It is no secret that I am a Kanye fan, you either hate him or love him. Lately there has been a shit load of controversy around him, but I still feel so inspired every time I hear him speak. Do I always agree with everything he says? Definitely not. But there is no one in this world that I agree with a 100%.

Recently Kanye was a guest on Jimmy Kimmel Live, and he said some things that I have thought a lot about over the years. And that inspired me to just spew all my thoughts in this blogpost. I would also highly recommend you to check out his interview, whether you like him or not he made some good points. 

Kanye is big on being a free thinker, in his song ”I Thought About Killing You”  he said:

Just say it out loud to see how it feels
People say, “Don’t say this, don’t say that”
Just say out loud, just to see how it feels
Weigh all the options, nothing’s off the table.

This now is something I try to live by. I have so many thoughts so many opinions but I keep about 85% of those all to myself.

Another thing he said/sang was this;

See, if I was trying to relate it to more people
I’d probably say I’m struggling with loving myself
Because that seems like a common theme
But that’s not the case here.

Now here are my thoughts about this all. You ready 😉 ?

We grow up in a world where we are supposed to follow all the rules, to fit the generic that is set for our age/gender. When we fall out of line we are told to get back in. When one of us isn’t quite skilled in a certain subject that our society thinks is oh so important, we get special aid instead of focussing on our own unique talents. We are thought to fit in a box, not to utilize our uniqueness.

We are usually taught by only one perspective, we get what’s in our school books. History, Math, Biology but so many skills that we actually need in life are not taught at school. Like how to express our own opinions and how to accept the fact that not everyone has the same views. Because it is actually okay to not have the same views as the majority, it is okay to be in the minority you don’t always have to fit in with all the big guys.

Now that I am older, I struggle with self love, knowing my worth. And I Know I am not alone. And it’s funny how now everyone is preaching; love yourself! Know your worth! But we are not taught to love ourselves. We are not taught to express ourselves. We are taught to fit in, to act normal, but what is normal? Isn’t that a very personal thing?

When we are proud of ourselves, and saying it out loud we are told to come off our high horse. There are so many opinions so many ideas floating around in my head that I just won’t share because people won’t be supportive. But just because others don’t get it doesn’t mean you are wrong, or you shouldn’t follow your dreams.

And I am not a saint. I will judge people when their opinion doesn’t match mine, or when they do shit that seems crazy in my eyes. And that’s stupid. Because if I don’t wish to be judged for living my life the way I want to then why do I judge others if they live their happy lives not harming anyone. Is that my ego talking? Maybe. This doesn’t mean I shouldn’t be opinionated, because being opinionated and judging are two different things. You can have a different opinion but still respecting the other person, not shattering their self worth.

I decided not to follow the regular school-career path. I decided to home school and oh boy do people have their opinions on that. Mind you I already have a degree. But that’s fine. Let them in that box, if that is where they feel happy and safe. But I have never felt happy in there, I never felt like I belonged. So fuck it I’ll knock that box over and get out of it, I’ll step out of line, I’ll celebrate myself my victories even the smaller ones and I will be proud of myself without holding back. Because I owe it to myself.  Even though I wasn’t taught to do any of this when I was younger, you are never to old to learn.

Now I am off to bed.

If this all seems all over the place, that’s how it is in my mind. I didn’t feel like fine tuning, just felt like writing.



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